If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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