Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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