why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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