I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
