I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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