I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
