Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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