the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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