The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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