i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
