Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
