I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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