He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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