I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
