he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
