Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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