he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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