I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
