ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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