Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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