You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
