He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
