Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
