guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
