So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
