I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
