Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
