i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
This house was built for laser tag.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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