oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
