He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
