He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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