i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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