That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
