Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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