I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
