she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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