i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
