Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
