you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
