Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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