we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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