he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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