she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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