She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
