I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
