I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
