Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize