This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
