He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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