Are we in a gay sports bar?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize