i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
