I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
