The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize