Soap is not a condiment
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
