ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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