sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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