You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
