You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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