He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize