I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
