I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
