i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
