whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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