Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
